Cheese, dresses, and whatevs

Amber and I were talking on Skype last night, and the topic of apple pie came up. Sounds delicious doesn't it? We'll pause for a moment while you daydream about warm fresh out of the oven apple pie covered in melted cheese. Wait, what?! Did I just say melted cheese? That's right, apparently apple pie with melted cheddar cheese on it is an american favorite. WTF?!?! What kind of sick American dubbed this disgusting combo a favorite of all Americans? I don't need some wack job deciding what is a favorite of mine. Whoever decided this should be thrown in stupid jail and beat to death with a wet noodle. If you are in need of a wet noodle just ask any Canadian since this is their only form of defense against attackers.

Time for a change of subject, I got my dresses for Twicon today! They are gorgeous, and if I can ever fit my fat ass into them then I will be rocking some serious hottness. Right now me = hot mess, so I am off to the gym to work off the weight before the big weekend. Which means tons of rants and stories about how people are stupid and shit. I have noticed that about 98% of the gym population have HORRIBLE gym manners. If I'm standing here waiting for you to finish using the equipment don't start slowing down just to be an ass. Keep up your tempo and get the eff off the machine so that I can use it! Also, if you have just sat on the bike for 30 minutes sweating your ass off, wipe the damn seat and handle bars before you leave, I don't want to catch whatever you have. If I wanted some uncurrable STD I would go out and get it myself, but since I don't, wipe your nastiness of the community property.

I enjoy going to the mall and people watching. Surprising right?! Have you ever seen those people that get stuck behind a mom with a stroller? It's like they are in a car and get around. They'll move to the left to see if they can go around that way, then they'll move to the right. Then when neither of those magically transport this dipshit in front of the stroller, they proceed to look at their watch, as if that is going to make them go faster. Hey dumbass! Just because they say mom's have eyes in the backs of their heads doesn't mean they literally do. She isn't going to see you looking at your watch and know to move out of your way. Oh and then when they do actually pass you they do the drive-by stare. You know the one you do in the car where you are daring the person next to you to get out of the car that is moving at 70 mph just to whoop your ass. And lets face it, if they are a big enough bad ass to get out of a moving vehicle your ass is going to end up in a coffin. So do that drive by stare and moms have a couple different options. Ingore them, which most moms do. Flip them off, which not enough mom's do. Or my all time favorite, tell them off. I've found that if you are having a bad day, going to the mall can make all the difference. Just make sure you are walking really slow and you are bound to run into one of these assholes, and then volia! instant punching bag, and the best part is you never have to see this dickwad again in your life.

Moral of the story: Always tell off the drive by stare, it'll make you feel better.

Question: If you could stop the career of one celeb, who would it be, how and why?
Now answer before I send dust bunnies to eat your feet!